Rick Warren’s Response to Son’s Suicide (Spiritual Perspectives)

052One year after the loss of his son, Pastor Rick Warren said: “Obviously, I want my son back. But if you’re going to go through pain, you may as well use it for good (1).”

When something tragic like suicide happens, there are many different ways to respond. Two ways emerge from reading a recently published interview with Pastor Warren.

First, wait. Following Matthew’s death, Pastor Rick withdrew from the world for several weeks. He used the time to grieve the loss of a beloved son and draw closer to a loving God. Waiting quietly in prayer is often a good first step.

In moments of upheaval, simply wait as a stone waits for the artist to chisel away unneeded parts, gradually revealing the masterpiece that remains. In the words of a 17th Jesuit priest:

“All we need to think of is to keep still in his hands while he works on us…(2)”

Second, allow the experience to change you in a positive way. Rick Warren used his hardship “for good”, as he developed a desire to understand and support people with mental health challenges. Maybe your hardship will enliven growth in some aspect of your personal life.

When bad things happen, wait on God and be transformed. Let Him use the difficulties in your life to shape you into the woman or man He has in mind for you to become.

(1) Warren Smith. Pain and Gain. World Magazine. September 20, 2012

(2) Jean Baptiste Saint-Jure and Claude de la Colombiere. Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, The secret of peace and happiness. St. Benedict Press, Charlotte, NC. 1980 (originally written in 17th Century).

Sunshine as Suicide Prevention

photo (16)Sunny days may reduce the incidence of suicide. These are findings published this week by researchers who analyzed of 30 years suicide data in Austria, comparing the number of suicides on a given day to the corresponding history of cloudy days .

Two findings emerged. First, a single day of cloudiness may be the final straw for the person muddled in suicidal thinking. Second, a long period of cloudy days increases the risk of suicide.

Two take-away messages may be important for those who struggle with depression. First, you may not feel like going outside on sad days but these may be the most essential days to get into the sunlight. Second, when cloudy days follow cloudy days, it is vitally important to do things that stabilize or elevate your mood. Exercise, call a friend, or do that good thing that helps you feel better. And, reach out to a counselor or physician without delay if destructive thoughts begin to dominate your thinking.

Whether you experience periods of depressed mood or not, get outside in the sunshine this week. It may lighten your eyes as well as your spirit.

(1) Benjamin Vyssoki and others. Direct Effect of Sunshine on Suicide. JAMA Psychiatry. Published online September 10, 2014

Robin Williams – Drunk on Despair?

Photo source: UptownMagazine.com

Photo source: UptownMagazine.com

Outside appearances can be deceiving. A great actor made many of us smile, chuckle, and overflow with laughter. Few people would list him as one of the people we suspect of being depressed, yet Robin Williams died one week ago of apparent suicide. Somewhere underneath, he struggled with and succumbed to hopelessness.

Depression can be an illness of the brain, an injury to neurons, an imbalance of biochemistry. In Breaking Through Depression (BTD), I describe a process in which repeated stressors injure the brain, leading to depressive illness.

In my conversations with people who struggle with thoughts of suicide, I have come to think of depression as a chemical imbalance that is similar to the intoxication produced by excessive alcohol use. In this state of chemically-induced confusion, people form false impressions of their value and potential. Chemically overpowered and drunk on despair, they become sick of themselves and their lives, believing a lie that they tell to themselves – that loved ones would be better off without them. This has always been untrue of the people I have counseled who have survived the loss a loved one to suicide.

Severe depression with its suicidal notions can most often be relieved with professional treatment and patience. Quite often people look back with wonder, questioning: “How did I ever get to that place in my life?” For others, thoughts of suicide persist but are balanced by the awareness of goodness in life and their value to others. Suicide is often the wrong short term solution to a long term, yet treatable, illness.

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, get help! Tell your friend, your doctor, your pastor or priest, your mother or your brother – tell somebody! Then seek professional help and learn more about this hidden illness by reading a book like BTD